Altitis

For 2 years, paladins wanting to tank (hah! As if anyone’d let us) could body pull.

For 2 more years, paladins could body pull or use Avenger’s shield to pull 3 targets. Blood knights even had a racial ranged pull for casters.

For 3 months, paladins could body pull, use Avenger’s shield to pull 3 targets OR use a glyph to make it single target, with all the downsides.

For 4 years and 3 months, the only other, trusty pulling tool for a tankadin was a little trinket, reward from a long quest chain in Un’Goro, Linken’s Boomerang.

Oh, once you got Avenger’s Shield, it had already become a bit obsolete, but I had kept it in my bank ever since, just in case, you never know, come sunshine and come rain, through respecs to holy and then ret.

Tomorrow, when the patch hits live, the trinket will definitely have outlived any practical usefulness, no longer an almost required complement to the serious tankadin’s arsenal, only a memory of bleaker times, when tanking meant walking 10 miles in the snow, uphill both ways and barefoot, soon to be unknown by new players and forgotten.

But today, still, it is time to pay a last hommage to this constant companion I have treasured since my mid-50ies and always kept handy FINALLY CELEBRATE THE LIBERATION OF ONE BANK SLOT AND GET RID OF THE BLOODY BOOMERANG!!!ONE!!!

Of course, you can’t really throw a boomerang away, or so they say. It keeps returning…

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Rule #1: The higher the need, the lower the drop rate

Rule #2: The last item of a full stack always has the lowest drop rate

Corollary: When you need several drops for a quest, even with a good drop rate, the last drop will take longer than all the previous combined

Rule #3: Any item which isn’t needed will drop at a steady pace.

Corollary to Rule 3: The moment you need that very same item, its drop rate will plummet.

Rule #4: Non-bound quest items which can be bought at the AH will always be in short supply and cost a fortune

Rule #5: The moment you start farming non-bound quest items with the intention of selling them at the AH, the supply suddenly explodes and the prices plummet.

Rule #6: Rare dungeon drops will suddenly become commonplace the very moment the entire raid is wearing better kit.

Rule #7: For any items in exception to Rules #1, 2 and the Corollary to rule #3, the mobs dropping them will suddenly be all dead and on long respawn timers the moment you need them.

EDIT: Found 3 more rules to make these a nice 10

Rule #8: Rare & expensive world drops will suddenly be in abundance when you want to sell one.

Rule #9: Better gear will suddenly become readily available the very moment you manage to get a rare, elusive and long awaited item

Rule #10: Player will always complain both about Rules #1 to #9 and every single exception to these

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Patch 3.0.2 is upon us. With it come goodies like new talent trees (bye bye holy, hello Ret on my paladin), inscriptions, the barber shops and more.

The patch will also bring Stormwind Harbor. And a ferry between Auberdine and Stormwind.

Think about that one for a while.

Until now, a young nelfie born in Darnassus or a space goat who wanted to reconnect with the rest of the alliance, to, say, visit far-away weapon masters, had to go through a rite of passage. An adventurer’s courage, skill and cunning could be measured by the level at which he undertook the dangerous voyage to far-away Ironforge, which involved braving the swampy, crocolisk-infested marshes of the Wetlands. The younger the braver was the saying.

The conforts of modern life however are now robbing the Alliance of yet another test of skill and courage, softening up an already weak youth even more, by providing mass transportation allowing the weakling long-ears and big-horns to completely bypass otherwise valuable lessons in aggro management and, let’s name it, running for their lives.

And they call THAT progress?

/snort.

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For all the worried readers, I’m happy to report that the world appears not to have ended quite yet. When I went for lunch in a cafeteria with sight on the CERN area, I didn’t see any black holes, so everything is still hunky-dorky for now.

On second thought you’re actually not supposed to see black holes, which means…

… I have not seen one. In other words, it might actually be there, not being seen just as it’s supposed to be.

OMG! THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!

Ahem. Sorry. I blame it all on the gravity well, or something.

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Since I’m sometimes known to be Swiss, people from time to time want to discuss that certain top secret lab 30 km off where I’m living which may cause the end of the world as soon as coming Wednesday.

To wit:

The CERN webpage about Dan Brown’s Angels & Demons (yes, this Dan Brown) does indeed exist here.

Note that due to my proximity to the lab, if I don’t update my blog after Wedneday, you may safely conclude that the world will have ended.

Or that I quit blogging…

Or possibly both.

Neither scenario is very likely, though. That being said, I used to sell equipment to CERN for an US computer manufacturer. As you may know, US export regulations are pretty strict about selling technology to certain sensitive parties. Since an earlier report mentioned that the LHC had a 1 in 10⁴⁷ chance (1 followed by 47 zeros, that’s quite a number. The US would call that impressive. The British a bugger of a number. I think) of causing the planet to explode, I asked my general manager after winning a deal whether I’d get fired if that event, no matter how unlikely, were to actually happen. His answer?

“Hell yes, and don’t even think about asking for a severance package.”

And that’s it about CERN.

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Bad things tend to happen when Steptoe and me try to get creative. To wit:

… And as a quick survey of the armory showed afterwards, we’re so original there’s three other guilds in EU by that name.

Oh well.

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So the announcement and preview of Diablo III hasn’t just generated interest, it has also gotten over 53k so-called fans riled up enough to start their own online petition (blissfully unaware that these tend to be, in the grand scheme of things, the web equivalent of a fart in the middle of a trash heap). Not because nobody knows yet whether the Necromancer class will be returning, or because suddenly all classes can be played either as males or females, or to demand a release date or whatever.
Because the short gameplay trailer they have seen so far is too bright, too cartoonish, too colorful.
Oh dear.
It’s not as if (as others have pointed out already) the Jungles of Kurast or Mount Arreat had any bright colours in Diablo 2. Or as if there was an entire act with a big bright yellow desert as background. Nono, forget about all that, both Diablos were dark and brooding entirely. Nothing bright, and heaven forbid it might look even just remotely like there were some elements drawn from WoW, that other game which happens to be the industry’s most profitable game ever.

In this little specific fracas, petition proponents will pretty soon hint at the fact that Blizzard has lost most of the staff behind Diablo and Diablo 2 when Blizzard North got closed down and employees moved on to different pastures (never mind that the real exodus had taken place in 2003).

Funny thing is, part of the original Diablo team have in the meantime tried to start their own thing. Which according to all reports isn’t exactly turning out as good as the average fanboy would hope it to be.

Let’s give credit where credit is due, though. I recently picked up Hellgate: London, then waited about 2 hours until the patching brought it to a playable state, and started playing it, at least the solo campaign. And in general, it’s a rather fun game (though there’s lots of bright and coloured areas in there as well). That being said, in terms of pure gameplay, I’d be completely at a loss to cite one single innovation (aside from playing either in a isometric view or First Person) over Diablo 2 in there. There simply isn’t any, it’s reusing all the same things, under a recent graphics engine and a post-apocalyptic setting. And there starts to be just plain too much wandering around the same wrecked London Tube / Sewers decors for my taste.
On the multiplayer side, I’d be looking forward to close to a half gig of additional patching before being able to play. Not something I’ll try to inflict to myself.

Anyway, the fanboys pointing out that today’s Blizzard doesn’t know how to make a new & better Diablo because the talent behind the original one left are conveniently leaving out the fact that the same original talent has failed so far not just to produce the next evolution of the genre themselves, they also appear to seriously lack Blizzard’s knack for polish and execution.

The Internet being still neutral and free, however, nothing prevents 53k whiners to QQQry about the colours of a game at least 2 years before it gets released. And making fools of themselves writing useless petitions.

For another take on this story, the Ancient Gaming Noob also points to the counter-fools running the opposite petition, and Girls Don’t Game’s Monique reflects on the petition, fanboys and their relationship with game producers (and sanity).

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Sometimes certain people leave me speechless:

I’ve actually spent the following 40 minutes trying to come up with something to say to that person which would convey my mindset properly.

The nicest I could think of was “Hey Blaileen, just a quick question about mages, how many spell schools do they have?”

But that wouldn’t have fit the bill.

“You nitwit, you know that Frostbolt hasn’t stopped working when you put your first talent point into fire, right?”

Too long. Not exactly enough subtlety in the insult.

“Make some room for frost and arcane spells on your action bar and solo them, you dolt!”

Still too obvious.

“WTS Arcane + Frost Spells to kill Fire Elementals. Rarely used.”

Sounds about right. Pity I thought about that one after logging for the night.

And they say mage’s primary stat is intelligence… Oh yeah, just dinged 51 on mine. I don’t have issues with fire elementals.

I’m frost spec

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Long time readers who have persisted through my various rants might get amused by this as well. I just got a pingback from a site who advertises a self-help book.

The title reads:

Putting a Stop to It

How To Quickly Eliminate Negative Emotions, Memories, Behaviors And Habits That Hinder Your Success!

They linked the following post of mine: An Apology to Stop and a Reply on Death Knights.

Considering the nature of the spirited dialogs between Stop and myself, the book’s description made me chuckle a bit.

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Fimlys of Asleep at the WoW kicked off this new round of WoW-themed haiku. So he gets all the blame

Boredom may set in
Raids, Arena, Daily Quests?
Roll another alt

Hardcore / Casual Fight
Words flow like blood on the blogs
10 millions play wow

No Welfare Epics
Alts rarely reach the cap
No Shiny Purples

Healing Meters lie
While your eyes keep watching them
Wipe! Run, Corpses, run!

Damage Meters lie
You race to be number one?
Your sheep just broke: wipe!

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